5 Reasons Why I Am The Best Wife Jeff Has Ever Had

(And these are in no particular order)

1. I don't show his funny videos with the viewers of the interweb: If you don't already know this, Jeff is a creative genius. A creative evil genius. He often sings funny little songs that make no sense at all, but will have you rolling on the floor in laughter. He also likes to do interpretive dances, often on the rug in our family room. These dances involve such feats as balancing on one leg, while the other is extended in an awkward yet attemptingly beautiful way, all while slowly flapping the arms in an upward and downward motion.

Sometimes, when I am really lucky, I capture these creative moments on video. I love watching these videos later and laughing at the ridiculousness that is Jeff. Jeff, on the other hand, does not really like it when I do this. He also does not like it when I share these moments with other people. (I still don't understand why...) So, even though I want to share these videos with you because I know they will bring a smile to your face and also vastly increase the number of people who look at our blog, I don't. And that is the first reason why I am the best wife Jeff has ever had.

2. I support Jeff in his sport fanaticism: Okay, maybe I don't necessarily support this, but I tolerate it. And, in my playbook, that is just as good. I tolerate it when he wants to spend his birthday watching UNLV lose to his archrival, BYU. I tolerate it when he gets incredibly upset when UNLV stinks it up. I tolerate it when he throws his hat down on the ground, then picks it up and slaps it against the arm of the couch, then throws it down on the ground again, when UNLV misses a tackle or a basket. The only time that I draw the line is when he slaps his laptop shut, and thinks that he will get a new one when it breaks. He won't. But other than that, I support, I mean, tolerate his love of UNLV sports. Second reason why I am the best wife he has ever had.

3. When I get a free lunch at work, I always go home and share it with him: I could stay at work and eat it myself. I could guzzle down all of the delicious freeness myself. But instead, I share my plenty with Jeff. And that is the third reason I am the best wife he has ever had.

4. I invent really fun games to play at home: I recently invented a game that brings laughter and delight to our humble abode. This game involves making intensly grotesque faces at each other on the count of three, and then seeing who laughs first. I love this game. I often practice infront of a mirror in the bathroom. I make faces at myself, and then when I find a satisfactorily ludicrous face, I will run out to Jeff and ask to play the game. We then turn our heads away from each other, count to three, and then on three turn our faces back to each other. I highly recommend that you try it with your significant other...or any other that happens to be in the room with you. And that is the fourth reason that I am the best wife that he has ever had.

5. And finally.... I am the only wife that Jeff has ever had. Therefore, I am automatically the best. And the worst, but we won't talk about that...